Homestuck Re-read Part 49: HOPEFULLY THE UPDATE DOESN'T GET UN-REPUBLISHED TODAY.
Have not yet continued with porting the software, I had stuff to do for my owner and wanted to play some more of my modded minecraft play-through. I want to make some time to try doing something creative soon, either video or text or taking another attempt at the weird print making process thing I was trying a bit ago.
Today's upd8 is about, 95ish pages? Or well, today and what I didn't get to read of yesterday's upd8. I'm also listening to this introductory seminary of Merkavah Mysticism by Esoterica while doing this update since I've been meaning to check the series out for a while.
Homestuck
WHERE DID WE LEAVE OFF
On this page! Right after Jake talked with Erisolsprite! Next up we're seeing Jane and Roxy on LOPAN celebrating Jane's 16th birthday. They have some consorts, GCAT and Fefetasprite with them for the party. Jake seems to have forgotten it was today. He continues to dig his own grave regarding the matter by being unable to shut his mouth. They've been in their void session for 5 months now and nothing is happening and it seems to be wearing everyone down a little. Nowhere near as much as Jake is wearing Jane down currently, mind.
She gets that eye twitch people have under stress and shortly and understandably blows a fucking fuse.
GT: Oh which actually reminds me of ANOTHER thing thats been bugging me about dirk.
GT: He can often be almost hilariously self absorbed. Dont even get me started on when he starts going off on these long monologues about his philosophical gobbledygook.
GG: Shut up!!!
GG: JUST,
GG: SHUT,
GG: THE FUCK,
GG: UUUUUUUUUUP!!!
Jake then proceeds to say the words that would make the situation far better
GT: Ay caramba.
GT: What in tarnation is the matter jane?
Just what any girl wants to hear when some green text guy babbles on about their relationship problems while forgetting your birthday. She starts to let a lifetime's worth of resentment flow out of her while Roxy and fefetasprite look at eachother awkwardly. Jake keeps doing this, ignoring Jane to only talk about his problems (and mainly problems with Dirk) to excess. He's still doing it while she explains that's what the problem is! I've had people treat me like this before and it's not, very nice. It's very hard to set boundaries about it too because you end up not wanting to feel like you're kicking them while they're down / making things worse. In my experience, they've also been people who are perpetually upset or having something bad happen, so you can't bring it up some other time either. I imagine it would also be far harder to try and set boundaries about this when there is also just, four humans in existence total.
It definitely doesn't make it easier to deal with when you used to / still have feelings for the person who acts like this and their problems are their love life with someone else!! That really fucking sucks!
Jane flips a table and cancels her party because Jake just isn't getting it. Roxy is extremely concerned by her response of stomping her headband into dust and proceeds to accidentally make things worse by making it about fefetasprite and trying to forgive / get with Jake.
Roxy is left alone with a sleeping fefeta and GCAT before the later teleports her somewhere. I think this page is where yesterday's upd8 would have ended? The teleport ends with her crashing into Derse infront of Her Imperial Condescension.
Meanwhile, Jane makes it back to her land. She wanders around angry for a few moments before it fizzles out into sadness. Caliborn, with his new bright green text, messages her. He seems to be trying to make friends with her, in his own, strange and fucking weird way. He finds her attractive in his way strange way and
If I am being honest I think I've fully changed my view on Caliborn I find him immensely hilarious now. Every single fucking line of his dialog is comedy gold. Reading him try to explain what he means by Jane's "clout" is taking 10 times as long from laughing at the fucking bizarre and perverse way he tries to say it.
uu: I WAS JUST SAYING. MY TASTE PREFERS.
uu: WHEN THE BUXOM SHREW'S PHYSIQUE PUTS A HEALTHY DENT IN SPACETIME.
uu: I LIKE HOW SALTY IT IS. WHEN A BITCH GROWS OUT OF HER SKELETAL PHASE.
uu: AND HER FRAME REALLY BEGINS TO CHALLENGE THE HORIZONTAL DIMENSIONS.
uu: WHEN THE FEMALE RUMP STARTS GETTING MORE MILEAGE OUT OF ITS WIDENESS ATTRIBUTE. MORE BANG FOR ITS BOONBUCK!
uu: IT EXCITES ME BETTER. WHEN BITCHES PUNISH THE GROUND. WITH EACH MEGALITHIC FOOTSTEP.
My face fucking aches from laughing. Caliborn trying to express he likes larger women with the tact of a fucking freight train trying to go through your front door is golden. Especially paired with his 'birthday present' portrait of her. He's such a horrible bastard man it's hilarious. Jane is not having anywhere near as much fun, however. Which is entirely understandable. She also can't seem to accept that Calliope is dead. Or her father.
The Draconian Dignitary is examining some newspapers talking about how Jack Noir is in jail. In his absence the paperwork is starting to stack up. There are new orders, agents no longer are to engage the nobles under any circumstance. At least, not until Jane's birthday. It's a good thing Jane was reluctant to accept her dad was dead, because he ain't. He seems to be having a decent time, actually. He's a fashion influencer too, apparently. Although it looks like the condense might pull the plug soon.
We read some of Roxy's, harry potter adjacent original fiction. The power cuts and she gets a message from UU. Roxy knows her name, however. It's a dream. She looks out her window and sees the giant crack in reality. There's a blinking light acting like a beacon in the dark. It's serenity? Calliope seems to be communicating through her blinks in morse code. She's trying to be stealth, so Caliborn / Lord English don't find them. He's nearby, following Vriska's raiding party seemingly. They move on to somewhere new, Somewhere with wizards on the walls.
A familiar scene begins to play out. Except instead of Mom Lalonde, the Condense stands at the end of the hallway. They walk out the door to the observatory but instead instead walk out of a giant, three dimensional drawing of the sburb logo. She walks down a white spiral towards a black center. Once she reaches the center, a cherub stands behind her.
The update draws to a close. Thank you all for reading.