Homestuck Re-read Part 37: Act 6.
Act 6. According to the numbers act 6 makes up 173% of Homestuck part 3. But for today, it's 192 pages.
I'm starting a bit late today. I watched interloper F with my friend today, which was amazing. We were going to do weapons as well but she was a bit worn out so that'll be tomorrow. I have a bit of a headache from trying to comprehend the ending, but I had so much fun.
Homestuck
We're starting out with an [S] page. We're getting a peak into the post-scratch universe. The earth looks relatively normal so far. But what would be John's neighborhood is covered in autumnal colours, orange and red and not bright greens. Someone is building up the robot bunny and someone else has a fenestrated wall with kittens. There's a sweet bro and hella jeff movie coming out. This whole scene is, beautiful and inspiring. I love it very much.
We see our first peak at our first beta kid. Jane Crocker, AKA John's Nana.
Theres a lot going on. Betty Crocker is huge here, like, interplanetary big. That part, I do not remember. I thought Betty Crocker being a front for Alternian imperial interests was a secret.
Another kid, JAKE ENGLISH. Kinda freaky name. This is gotta be Jade's grandpa and penpal.
We do character selection and I am picking Jane to start with. Her captchalogue modus shows her how to alcehmetize(?) items. Ron Swanson
Our first pesterlog/botherlog of act 6.
Jake needs to finish up Liv Tyler to somehow send to John. I forgot about his
double pistols and a wink
routine.
We get our new arc number as well. 11/11/11. Not as catchy as 413 or 612. Anyway, the moment 11:11 rolls around for Jane things get a bit weird. The betty crocker rebrand causes logos to start changing in her home. So does her spoon.
And now, we see our third act 6 character. UraniumUmbra. A very pleasant person speaking in a light grey. Dramatic and well rehearsed. We learn another Lalonde is cloaked in darkness, but it seems less sinister. She tells Jane about sburb and about Skaia and her awakening on Prospit. She professes herself to be an alien girl, one who will also now begin playing sburb. She preaches one last thing: patience. Patience for four heroes of legend, of breath, light, time and space.
John apparently acted in Night Court as "Judge Johnny Stone". I've been meaning to check that out for a while. Maybe I'll push it up my list.
Crocker Corp has seemingly made some item-to-grist device. Like a recycling system in a video game. There's also the tiaratop which definitely isn't a brainwashing device. It's mainly advertisements with a side of brainwashing. Also I forgot fucking. Guy Fieri becomes Chief Justice of the US Supreme court.
We eventually get to talk to the new Lalonde and everyone's favorite teenage alcoholic, Roxy! Her and Jane don't seem to be getting along particularly well. Especially when it comes to Roxy seemingly wanting to date Jake and Dirk. Or Jane's dad. Unfortunately for Roxy, this isn't her only troubled relationship. The Lalonde daughter-mother conflict continues. Someone tried to wack Jane, apparently. Highly unusual.
This exchange is fucking hilarious, and I love it so much. It's so stupid.
Ok back to Jake English thank you.
Guns are so cool. Your GRANDMA was rad.
We see the bunny under construction.
Jake has Something massive stowed in his captchalogue.
We see another chat with uraniumUmbra. Still a little sweetheart. Strangely, she's trying to keep Jake on track to finishing Liv Tyler on time. She's also the one who supplies all the weapons for the bunny, too. She refuses to issue 'causal spoilers' to anyone she speaks too. She does however issue explanations on the "relative" nature of time and universes. We also learn that whatever UU is, they don't exactly have parents. Not in the same was as alternians, but that they have parents, they just dont know them. I guess they must lay eggs that hatch later. She ends the conversation with a rather grand line.
UU: yoUr objective today is to pave the way for the arrival of gods.
UU:
hm. My markdown editor is highlighting
We are seeing some rather disturbing things about Jake. He shares his last name and his cairo overcoat with Lord English. I don't remember how that ends up shaking out, I know he isn't evil or a part of Lord English I believe. But clearly he must get them from Jake somehow.
Our first conversation with Dirk. Strider 2.0. This one is, a lot more openly homosexual.
TT: Just about the only way I could salvage endearment from this perilous slope of horseshit would be to discover, really fucking soon mind you, it was a preamble to some floundering invitation for me to rush to your vicinity as nakedly as possible.
Which I genuinely did not remember, either. He also seems to have access to large and unmonitored supplies of uranium, considering he can just hand some over to Jake if he felt like it.
This also isn't the real dirk, this is his autoresponder AI. I didn't expect Jake's way of spotting AI writing to mirror some of the supposed tells people see in LLM generated text.
GT: Man its so flipping obvious.
GT: You start getting kind of extra technical and vague and automoton like.
GT: And kind of aloof and brusque.
GT: I mean...
GT: Even aloofier and brusquier than usual!
GT: Also you use the phrase "it seems" a lot. Its so silly it really blows the AI immersion man.
He's also not just an auto responder, but an auto messenger. He also has feelings. He is basically a real boy.
She reads the inscription in the unabridged copy of Colonel Sassacre's text. It's the one Nanasprite wrote for John back in the beta kid's session. It also deceives her, she thinks it was written by her Great Great Grandmother, the supposed "Batterwitch". But it wasn't. She wrote it in another life. The batterwitch has no good deeds to accompany her into whatever judgement shall be bought before her, but she has stolen them and uses them to dress herself like a sheep.
She tells Jake about her awakening on Prospit. It has bad news. Jake is already dead on Prospit, slain in his sleep. We also learn his classpect. Page of Hope.
Jake's island is definitely different to Jade's. It seems to have monsters.
Roxy keeps talking about troll shit, which is unusual. Wriggling dale, pale friends, etc. I guess UU must be talking about it. Although the fauna on Jake's island looks a bit lusus-ish. Metal dirk is hunting his quarry.
The art of Homestuck continues to remain amazing.
Dirk talks to his own autoresponder.
I feel bad I don't have as much to say about the alpha kids. Which is itself bizare because they're characters in a webcomic and not real and therefore I have no obligation of fairness to them. But I still do. I just don't find them all as much interesting as the beta kids. I don't feel like I care as much about all the shit going on with them and I wish I did. It might also be because my brain is a bit fried at the moment. Who knows.
Metal dirk arrives and decapitates a giant fucking beast.
Jane appears to get mail bombed, as we draw Act 6 Act 1 to a close.
Hussiebot decides to level up everyone traveling between universes
They even gain the ability to have regular conversations!
That's all for today folks. Thank you for listening to my fried brain do an upd8. I am not sure if I'm expecting tomorrows to be any better. It depends if waiting months for weapons to come out feels like I've ended up wasting my life.